I
Roda MacIver
I HEARD ABOUT Sri Bhagavan for the first time in 1939from a friend who showed me his photograph. I was very
much struck by his eyes and wished to go and see him. My
desire to go to Tiruvannamalai to Sri Bhagavan's abode could
not be fulfilled until 1942. A friend, who had just finished
building a house in Tiruvannamalai invited me to stay with her.
I eagerly accepted the invitation. When I arrived I was indisposed
for a few days and could not go to the Ashram.I heard that Sri
Bhagavan was in the habit of going for a walk on the hill of
Arunachala every day at regular hours, so I went there and waited
on the path. On the crest of the hilly path a head emerged like
the rising sun and then I saw the whole majestic tall figure,
Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi! Slowly he came towards me,
his attendant a few steps behind. He stopped for a few moments
before me, smiling and looking at me graciously. My heart was
beating fast and I could not utter a word. I cannot describe
how I felt really.I experienced a coolness.
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During the next two years I was visiting the Ashram
constantly. Then in 1944 one day I went into the hall. Sri
Bhagavan was reading some papers. I sat down and looked at
him. Suddenly he put away the papers and turned his luminous
eyes on me. I could not stand his gaze so I closed my eyes, tears
streaming down my face.When I opened my eyes he was still
looking at me. My heart was flooded with joy and an inner
calmness! Later I went to see a friend of mine, Sri Munagala
Venkataramiah,1 and told him in detail about this occurrence
in the hall. He said that I was very fortunate to have received
initiation from Sri Bhagavan. There was no doubt about it!
Next morning when I was in the hall somebody asked Sri
Bhagavan what was the use of sitting before him. Does he give
initiation? Sri Bhagavan replied that initiation can be given in
three ways: by silence, by look and by touch. When saying "by
look", he looked at me. Then I remembered what I was told the
day before about my experience and had no doubt that I had
received initiation from Sri Bhagavan, my most revered Master!
After a month's stay I returned to Bombay, and there was a
complete change in my life. Worldly pleasures ceased to attract
me and I wanted to be alone as much as possible. I decided to
leave Bombay and settle down in Tiruvannamalai but did not
know where to stay. It was difficult in those days to get
accommodation but I knew Sri Bhagavan was guiding me and so
I did not worry much. He would arrange everything. And it so
happened that two days before leaving Bombay I met my husband
to be. He told me to go and stay in his house in Tiruvannamalai
and so I left happily. Soon after, with Sri Bhagavan's blessings, we
got married and this house became my permanent home.
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By Bhagavan's grace I am now permanently settled here
and do not intend to leave. He still helps and guides me as
before and often hears my prayers. His Presence now is even
more powerful than when he was in the physical body.
My love for Sri Bhagavan sustains me and is of the greatest
importance in my life!