IX
Maurice Frydman

JUST SIX MONTHS after I came to India, I was left alone
and had no friends. The person whom I loved died and I had
nothing to attract me in life.

Quite accidentally, just for fun, I dropped in at
Tiruvannamalai. I went direct to the swami but I was ordered
out by his disciples as I had not taken off my shoes.

After bathing and other preparations, I went again to the
hall and remained there with the Maharshi for two hours.

Then I understood that I had met someone, the likes of
whom I had never met before.

I did not then know what was meant by words like
Maharshi and Bhagavan. I had no preconceived ideas and yet I
felt that there was something extraordinary in that man.

I was told about his teachings but they were far too high
for me. I did not understand what they meant but I felt a strong
and lasting affection for him. I was alone in India and I attached
myself to him just as a homeless dog would to his master.

Afterwards, whenever I felt worried, I used to go to
Arunachala, and sit in his presence. In the early days I would be
asking questions, but later when I began to visit him more and
more, the discussion with him grew less and less.

Then I began to visit him almost every month. I knew no
sadhana ^[?]or dhyana. I would simply sit in his presence. To my
questions, Sri Maharshi would say: "Find out who you are." I
could not make out anything but all the same I felt happy.

Slowly some change came in me. Just as the egg grows and
hatches only with the aid of the warmth of the mother I was
also getting into shape slowly and steadily in his presence.

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My mind became more quiet than before. Previously it
was unhappy and never satisfied. Now a kind of security and
peace began to be felt spontaneously.

I felt that Sri Maharshi was coming nearer and nearer as
time passed. Afterwards I used to think of him whenever I felt
unhappy. He used to appear before me and ask if I have not
committed any sin. If I had erred or sinned, he used to hide
himself for a time but later on appear and reply.

His affection was always there and as fire melts ice so his
affection made my worries melt.