47. SOME LIGHT
MOMENTS

TO illustrate that prarabdha could not be overcome
Bhagavan once narrated one of his experiences which
was as follows:

A number of devotees and disciples would offer food
stuffs and eatables to Bhagavan and insist on his eating
them. He had to do so though he did not like to do so.
He would often say, "Only I know the problems associated
with being a Swami. If you are not hungry, you need not
eat but if I didn't eat nobody else would eat. So I have to
eat whether I am hungry or not." Once Bhagavan felt
that it would be good if he were to go away all by himself
so that he could fast at least that day. So he quietly walked
towards the forest at the foot of Arunachala. On the way
he came across seven women who came to collect firewood
in the forest. One of them had had Bhagavan's darshan
earlier and so could easily recognise him and immediately
on doing so offered some eatables to Bhagavan and
requested him to partake of them. So did the other women.
Bhagavan had no choice but to partake of the food, and
thus had his fill. The women did not leave him with that
but insisted that Bhagavan should have his lunch with
them. To avoid that prospect Bhagavan walked deep into
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the forest but around lunch time the women appeared
there also. It was summer, and everyone was thirsty. They
asked Bhagavan if there was any source of water close by.
He had to guide them towards the Sona-teertha. Once
again the women served him various items of food.
Bhagavan was baffled that his own plan of fasting that
day had been foiled. After the meal he began his return
journey to the Ashram and walked along the giri pradakshina
road. Quite strangely, Ramaswamy Iyer was
waiting for Bhagavan at a mantapa on the road to offer
him some mango juice. Bhagavan had to accept that also.

      Some other incidents of the same type were:
In the early days of his arrival at Tiruvannamalai,
Bhagavan stayed at the Gopura Subrahmanya shrine for a
short time. A tall, well-built devotee of Bhagavan used to
visit him every day and silently sit in his presence. Bhagavan
as usual was always silent. The devotee, Iyer, had great affection
for Bhagavan. Once, Iyer arranged a lunch at his house and
wanted Bhagavan also to be one of the guests. At lunch time
he asked Bhagavan to accompany him to his house but
Bhagavan declined. Iyer and another equally well-built person
approached Bhagavan to bodily lift him and take him. Seeing
that, Bhagavan himself got up and went with them.

      On another occasion, Bhagavan and Palaniswami
returned to the temple at about 8'o clock in the night
after their giri pradakshina. Palani left for fetching food.
At that time the head of the Easanya math ^[?] arrived there
along with his disciples, surrounded Bhagavan and
requested him to go to the math ^[?] for supper. Bhagavan
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declined but the head of the math ^[?] asked his devotees to
lift Bhagavan, which Bhagavan did not like. He walked
along with them and outside the temple, a cart was waiting
for them. Bhagavan was again forced to get into the cart
and taken to the math ^[?] for supper.

      Once during the Virupaksha days, Bhagavan, Palani
and another person began going along a path towards the
western forest. On the way a Harijan woman who was
there to collect leaves and twigs saw Bhagavan and began
upbraiding him. "Why can you not sit quietly at some
place and meditate? Why do you have to roam about here
and there like us who have to go around to collect
firewood?" After saying this she left the place. Bhagavan
remarked "She has taught us a good lesson in philosophy!"

One new moon day some orthodox Brahmins came
to have Bhagavan's darshan in the morning. They wished
to go and perform the rite —tarpanam after the darshan.
Bhagavan asked them to stay back for breakfast where
uppuma was to be served. Not being able to decline
Bhagavan's invitation, the Brahmins stayed for breakfast.
After breakfast was over, Bhagavan read out aloud an article
detailing the good that onion could do to us and then
asked them, "Did you notice any onion in today's
uppuma?" The orthodox Brahmins could not answer. Then
Bhagavan said, "If onion is cut into fine pieces and fried
in castor-oil the pungent smell will disappear." Bhagavan's
upadesa was that mere adherence to customs was not
important and that they were meant only as aids to
sadhana ^[?].

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      A devotee once sat in a corner sulking. He was abusing
Bhagavan within himself that Bhagavan was not helping
him in any manner. At that very moment Bhagavan said to
another devotee, "If you want, abuse only a decent man; if
you abuse a rough one, he may beat you up." The devotee
who heard this became restless and ran towards Bhagavan
and asked, "Does Bhagavan also react to abuse or praise?"
Bhagavan consoled the devotee, "No, but if you have to
abuse someone abuse only the Swami. If you abuse a good
person he may feel hurt and you will suffer on that account.
Not so the Swami who does not mind being abused." The
devotee felt quite bad at this.

      During giri pradakshina an interesting event occurred.
Once a devotee took up the chanting of Tiruppugazh
which contained hymns in praise of Lord Subrahmanya. In
one of the lines the expression Valli Kavalene occurred,
which meant Protector of Valli. The devotee was so
overcome by devotion that he began repeating the word
"Kavalene." In his emotional state he forgot the Tamil
meaning (Protector) of the word and somehow switched
on to its Telugu meaning which is "I want." Not only that,
he kept on saying, "Laddu Kavalene," "Vada kavalene,"
(meaning "I want laddu", "I want vada") and repeated various
eatables in the process. Those accompanying him burst
into laughter whereupon he came to his senses. By the time
the party reached the next mantapa by a coincidence various
devotees brought the very same items and served the party.
Everyone was wonder-struck at this coincidence. When
the Lord and Source of all treasure was close by all that the
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devotee could ask for were some eatables and he got what
he asked for. How can one escape one's prarabdha?

Bhagavan had a keen sense of humour. During his stay
at Virupaksha cave a north-Indian came to have his darshan.
There was no one else there except Bhagavan who was
working on a mud wall. The visitor took him to be a labourer
and asked him "Who is the Swami here?" Bhagavan said
"He has gone out." After waiting for some time the visitor
left. On the following day also the same thing happened. As
he was on his way back, Echammal saw him and getting to
know what had happened, took him back to the cave. After
the visitor had spent some time with Bhagavan and left,
Echammal asked Bhagavan whether it was fair to play a trick
on the visitor. Bhagavan said, "Do you want me to go about
with a piece of paper bearing the legend `I am the Swami' or
do you want me to get the words painted on my forehead?"
Quite true. For one who cannot see even with eyes open
everyone is an ordinary human being.

      Bhagavan's forbearance was limitless. In 1906 during
his Virupaksha days Bhagavan came down the hill and after
walking around for quite sometime began his return journey
by a new route. On the way there was a hornets' nest on a
bush which Bhagavan did not notice. His left thigh brushed
against the nest and before he could proceed any further a
group of hornets came and attacked his left thigh. The Swami
felt that as the thigh had committed the fault, it had to bear
the consequences and kept quiet without attempting to drive
away the hornets. He bore the pain and moved along only
after the attack ceased. The thigh was badly hurt.

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      Once as Bhagavan was going along a path by the side
of a stream on the northern part of the hill he suddenly
saw a large banyan leaf, the size of a plantain leaf good
enough to serve as a plate. His curiosity aroused, Bhagavan
proceeded to investigate where the leaf came from. After
great trouble he saw a very large boulder upon which the
banyan tree was perched. It was a mystery how such a tree
could grow there. After that incident Bhagavan ceased
roaming about the hill and also dissuaded anyone from
trying to carry out a similar exploration.

      According to legend the siddha purusha, Arunagiri
Siddha, sat below a banyan tree on the northern side of
Arunachala. Possibly the tree Bhagavan noticed was that
very one and possibly also in the kali-yuga even a sage of
the eminence of Bhagavan could not see the siddha purusha.

      In spite of Bhagavan's instructions a devotee, Thomas,
proceeded to explore that very place. After reaching a
particular spot he could neither proceed further nor turn
back. He regretted his folly and prayed to Bhagavan, who
ensured his safe return.

      Bhagavan's upadesa to his mother was that destiny
could never be overcome try as we might. He did not
give the upadesa to his mother just to get over the situation
he faced at that time but it was something which he
believed in. When the time came one had to go through
whatever was destined.

      One day, Bhagavan accompanied by Vasudeva Sastry
and some others, walked across to Pachaiamman Kovil
for a bath. They were returning by a shorter route. It was
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ten o'clock in the morning and the sun was beating down
fiercely. Bhagavan was tired and by the time the party
reached a spot called the `tortoise rock' where a huge
boulder lay, Bhagavan had an experience which, in his
own words was as follows:

Suddenly the view of the natural scenery in front of me
disappeared and a bright white curtain was drawn across
the line of my vision and shut out the view of nature.
I could distinctly see the gradual process. At one stage
I could see a part of the prospect of nature yet clear, and
the rest being covered by the advancing curtain. It was
just like drawing a slide across one's view in the
stereoscope. On experiencing this I stopped walking
lest I should fall. When it cleared, I walked on. When
darkness and faintness overtook me a second time, I
leaned against a rock until it cleared. And again for the
third time I felt it safest to sit, so I sat near the rock.
Then the bright white curtain had completely shut out
my vision, my head was swimming and my blood
circulation and breathing stopped. The skin turned a
livid blue. It was the regular death-like hue — and it got
darker and darker. Vasudeva Sastry took me in fact to
be dead, held me in his embrace and began to weep
aloud and lament my death. His body was shivering, I
could at that time distinctly feel his clasp and his
shivering, hear his lamentation and understand the
meaning. I also saw the discoloration of my skin and I
felt the stoppage of my heart beat and respiration, and
the increased chillness of the extremities of my body.

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      Yet my usual current of "thought" (dhyana ^[?] or sahaja Samadhi
) was continuing as usual in that state also. I
was not afraid in the least nor felt any sadness at the
condition of my body ? I had closed my eyes as soon
as I sat near the rock in my usual posture but was not
leaning against it. The body which had no circulation
nor respiration maintained that position still. This state
continued for some ten or fifteen minutes. Then a
shock passed suddenly through the body, circulation
revived with enormous force, as also respiration; and
there was perspiration all over the body at every pore.
The colour of life reappeared on the skin. I then opened
my eyes, got up and said, `Let us go.' We reached
Virupaksha cave without further trouble. That was the
only occasion on which both my blood circulation
and respiration stopped.

— from Self-Realisation
Bhagavan also clarified that he did not bring the state
upon himself voluntarily to see what it would be like if
one died. Occasionally he had such experiences but on
that occasion it was quite pronounced.

      A rich devotee once said that he had been visiting
Bhagavan for over ten years but could notice no spiritual
improvement in himself.

      Bhagavan: A first class passenger wishing to go to
Kasi would ask the guard to wake him up when the
train reached Kasi and then would go to sleep pulling
down all shutters. Suppose he wakes up at the middle
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of the night and keeps lamenting that he might
already have crossed Kasi would you describe him as
being intelligent? His business was to inform the
guard, would not the guard look after his duty?

The devotee usually travelled by first class, Bhagavan
was the guard. The devotee wished to reach Mokshapuri
(City of Liberation-Kasi). Would not the guard take care
of the situation, why should the devotee have any doubt?

Bhagavan's replies to questions were usually sweet,
occasionally they were critically humorous. A devotee once
insisted that Bhagavan should grant him moksha ^[?] at once.

"What is moksha ^[?]?" asked Bhagavan.
"I have to be absolutely happy with no thought of
the world or its suffering."

"If so, go to bed and sleep — you will have no thought
of the world," replied Bhagavan.

      A visitor who belonged to Tiruvannamalai, came and
invited all devotees present in the hall to dinner at his
house. Bhagavan thereupon questioned him, "Why did
you not invite me?" While everyone laughed, the visitor
had no answer to give. Bhagavan saw his plight and said,
"Go, where am I not?" and recited the sloka "Aham
Vaisvanaro bhutv.…" The reassurance of Bhagavan was
a matter of great grace to the visitor. Bhagavan himself
once said, "No one goes back empty-handed having come
here. The non-believer becomes a believer, the believer
becomes a devotee, the devotee becomes knowledgeable,
the knowledgeable one becomes a jnani ^[?]."

      Can there by any greater reassurance?