42. THE DUSK
Much before darkness envelops the earth the rays ofthe sun are withdrawn and the sun sets to the regret
of the world.
During the Virupaksha days, the Skandasramam days
and the early years of stay at Ramanasramam Bhagavan's
body glowed brilliantly. Later, except on the occasions of
Deepa utsavam, Mahapooja and Bhagavan's Jayanti, that
glow disappeared. Several interpretations were put on this;
such as that it was an indication of the approaching
withdrawal or that in the ruined physical frame of
Bhagavan it could not be manifest and the like.
Astrologers said that the end was approaching. The
Nadi grantha mentioned that Ramana Leela would go on
till Bhagavan was eighty. The learned questioned whether
the planets had any influence on a jnani [?]. Some quoted
the saint composer Tyagaraya who said, "If Rama's anugraha
(grace) is there, what do the grahas (planets) matter?" Yet
others contradicted this saying, "Bhagavan is totally
indifferent towards the body so the influence of planets is
bound to be there."
Bhagavan said on a number of occasions, "This (the
body) has come into being according to your desire." He
meant the devotees' desire. He also added, "It will go if you
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do not need it." This meant that Bhagavan's life was entirely
dependent on the wishes of others. If that be so, another
question could arise ? "Who is it that says the body's work
is no longer needed?" There can be no answer to it.
Owing to the neglect of the body during its youth it
began showing the consequences from 1945 itself. With
the passing away of Echammal (1945) the consequences
became clearer. Even earlier, Bhagavan had asthma and
pains in the joints during winter. Therefore, he avoided
sweets and buttermilk sometimes. While it can be
philosophised that nobody lasts for ever, it can still be
argued that if there was a reason for the body's coming
into being there should be one for its exit also.
In the present case, it would be more appropriate to
say that the purpose of the avatar had been fulfilled. As
Kavyakantha said in Ramana Gita, the purpose was to
demonstrate to the world that abidance in the Self and
Liberation were attainable. Bhagavan demonstrated this
for over half a century. Seekers came from far to serve at
the feet of Bhagavan and his message had travelled to
distant lands. His grace was experienced by devotees, yogis,
jnanis and disciples according to their deserts. "Anyone
who came here did not go empty-handed."
"Bhagavan takes upon himself the fruits of devotees'
karma [?], which is why he suffers so many bodily ailments" ?
who can answer such comments? It is possible that Bhagavan
took upon himself the sufferings of the devotees. A devotee
by name Krishnamurthy was suffering from a painful index
finger but sat silently in Bhagavan's presence without revealing
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it. All of a sudden Bhagavan began rubbing his own index
finger. The next moment the devotee's pain disappeared.
Ever since 1947, Bhagavan's deteriorating health
became a cause of anxiety to his devotees. His rheumatic
pain extended to his waist and back. Maybe, for a
weakening body better nutritious food was necessary but
Bhagavan did not approve of any special treatment for
himself. On top of it he would say: "The body itself is a
disease. One should enquire into the origin of the disease,
not look for ways to lessen the effect of the disease which
this disease (the body) contracted." Thus he would make
fun of those who brought medicines for him.
Ramachandra Rao, an Ayurvedic physician from
Bangalore, once brought a list of items for preparing
Ayurvedic medicines and showed it to Bhagavan. Bhagavan
went through the list and spoke well of each item. Taking
the cue, Ramachandra Rao asked Bhagavan, "Do I have
Bhagavan's permission to go ahead with the preparation
of the medicines?"
Bhagavan:
Medicines? For whom?
Ramachandra: For Bhagavan
Bhagavan:
Why for me? I am alright. You appear
to be weaker than me, you had better
take the medicine yourself.
Another devotee also suggested that Bhagavan should
take tonics. Bhagavan replied, "Am I a rich man to be
able to afford tonics? All that I do is to go in when the bell
rings and eat the food granted to me."
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Another devotee said to Bhagavan, "Sri Aurobindo
has milk, fruits and almonds," (implying that Bhagavan
also should do something on those lines). Bhagavan's reply
was "Why not? He is fairly well-to-do. What do I have?"
Bhagavan was always the first one to serve devotees
who fell sick. He was capable of curing their diseases in a
moment by his grace but it was the misfortune of the
devotees that he never thought of curing himself so that
hundreds of devotees could continue to experience his grace.
The authorities of the Ashram never asked Bhagavan
to cure himself for their sake. But they fetched doctors
who gave medicines, and performed surgery on the body
as if it were like any other body. By the time they realized
the truth it was too late.
On several earlier occasions Bhagavan cured himself
of ailments such as jaundice. On that occasion, the
medication of doctors did not prove effective. So also
when he had unceasing hiccups. Once Bhagavan had
eczema both on the legs and back. Dr. Melkote tried several
medicines for two months but failed. Finally with tear-
filled eyes and a choked voice he begged of Bhagavan to
cure himself. Within two days Bhagavan cured himself. Is
not Bhagavan a physician for the disease called the cycle
of birth and death (bhavaroga bhishak vara)?
May be it did not strike the devotees that towards
Bhagavan's end the only way of keeping him amidst
themselves was to surrender to Bhagavan.
In February 1949, a small `boil' appeared on the left
forearm of Bhagavan which he ignored. But the doctors
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did not; they felt that unless it was removed at once surgically
it could cause trouble. On the evening of 9 February 1949,
Dr. Sankara Rao, with the assistance of Dr. Srinivasa Rao,
removed the boil in the bathroom of Bhagavan. Before the
surgery Bhagavan did ask, "Won't this go by simply
bandaging with a few leaves?" But the doctors said, "The
sarvadhikari also has approved of our proposal." Thereafter,
Bhagavan kept quiet. After a week's bandaging the wound
healed and the bandage was removed.
The boil re-appeared and within a month increased
in size causing anxiety to everyone. This time a noted
surgeon, Dr. Raghavachari from Madras was summoned.
He operated on the tumour on 27 March 1949 after giving
a local anaesthetic. As the tumour arose on the nerve a
deep cut became necessary. A biopsy was done and sent
for investigation. The wound did not heal, on the contrary
it spread. The results of the biopsy arrived by mid-April.
It was diagnoised as sarcoma. Radium treatment was then
resorted to. The tumour did not heal but it began bleeding.
A blood transfusion was done on 30 April. Finally Dr.
Raghavachari suggested amputation of the forearm which
Bhagavan rejected outright saying, "I will look after
myself." On another occasion, he quipped: "If the tumour
were to arise on the head they would perhaps suggest
removal of the head." Devotees who could not bear the
thought of Bhagavan's forearm being removed drew hope
from his assurance that he would look after himself.
On 8 May 1949, a well-known Ayurvedic physician,
Dr. Lakshmipathi, suggested that bandaging with certain
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leaves would be beneficial. Another doctor of Bangalore,
Dr. Ramachandra Rao also made a similar suggestion.
Hearing this, a devotee wondered if the problem could be
so easily solved. But Bhagavan said, "He is a doctor, he
should know." Yet again someone suggested that Bhagavan
could cure himself by his sankalpa [?] to which Bhagavan
replied "Did I invite it for it to vanish at my bidding?"
Possibly as a result of Dr. Lakshmipathi's suggestion
Valluvai Tata, a native `doctor' who knew all about
medicinal leaves, was summoned on 5 July 1949. This
was the same person who had healed Bhagavan's fractured
collar bone while on Arunachala. He tied a particular
bandage saying a tumour like that ought not to have been
operated. This bandage reduced the bleeding. But the
`doctor' was keen on removing the `poison' in the tumour
and applied hot chilli powder to the wound. Even under
normal circumstances such an application would be
unbearable to anyone, in Bhagavan's condition it was
intolerable. His temperature shot up. With that the native
`doctor' was asked to stop his attempts.
On 25 July 1949 another well-known physician Dr.
Guruswami Mudaliar visited Bhagavan and expressed
displeasure at the carrying out of the operation. He
suggested administering certain injections and left
promising to visit again.
Meanwhile several Vedic pandits commenced some
special poojas and Surya namaskars for Bhagavan's recovery.
Some devotees like Suri Nagamma also joined them.
Bhagavan did not prevent them but said, "Let them do
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what they wish, after all it is something good." He also
said on another occasion, "What is the use? The atma in
Surya is here also."
In August, administering of penicillin injections
commenced. The timings for Bhagavan's darshan were
also restricted as he needed rest. In November, Dr.
Guruswami Mudaliar paid another visit and after
consulting the doctors decided that another operation
was necessary. Bhagavan was taken to the Ashram
dispensary the following day. A blood transfusion was
done and after administering anaesthesia the tumour was
cut with an electric knife to minimize bleeding.
Anxious crowds collected round the Ashram
dispensary. To keep some order, volunteers and police
were deployed. At the request of Swami Niranjanananda
the crowds began dispersing. In the evening after 6 p.m.
Bhagavan was seated in the verandah of the hospital to
grant darshan to the devotees.
The next day, Bhagavan himself walked to the hall to
give darshan. The hopes of the doctors were restored.
Radium therapy was resumed and it appeared as if the
wound was healing. But in December things took a turn
for the worse with the appearance of another tumour a
little above the place where the earlier tumour arose. The
doctors operated this also on December 19 but with no
results.
Thereupon the doctors gave up. The anxiety of the
devotees mounted and they began asking themselves
whether the jyoti would last beyond a few days.