11. THE GOAL

"Helpless have I wandered day by day. I now seek
refuge in you, come to my rescue"

— Tyagaraja
THEY were the early hours of the day, darkness was
slowly fading away, right from the moment he
boarded the train. Venkataraman was eager to see
Arunachala. As his cherished goal was nearing, his
excitement mounted.

      At first hazily, a little later more clearly and finally
explosively the peak of Arunagiri, its middle, its foothills
and its base, with the temple towers touching the stars all
these came into view. Venkataraman's heart was immersed
in an ocean of joy, his body quivered, his eyes brimmed
with tears which came in the way of his beholding his
beloved Arunachala to his heart's content.

      Soon after the train reached the station,
Venkataraman walked swiftly to the temple, almost
running. In those early hours except the wind god, nobody
was paying obeisance to the Lord. Even the rustle of that
wind faded away from Venkataraman's earshot. It was the
hour when the temple remained closed. Till eight nobody
would come to the temple nor open the doors. But
unusually, that day all the doors were wide open.

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      Was it a moment when the Father gave a secret
upadesa to his son? Or did He feel that the inspired son
deserved nothing less than a private audience? Or did He
instruct the son: "You search for me in the depths of your
heart, you shall find!"

Venkataraman walked straight into the sanctum
sanctorum. Having done so, he reported to the Lord, "Father,
I have come according to your bidding, I offer myself to you."

      The emotional upsurge which flooded his heart
vanished. The conflict of emotions abated. Peace reigned.
That experience transcended both joy and sorrow — it
would be appropriate to describe it as pleasurable. Tears
flowed down his cheeks. The burning sensation had gone.
There was no agony of any kind. An overwhelming
happiness drowned him.

      The son who till then was playing different parts in
this world was no longer going to leave the Father's
presence. All connection between him and the world
snapped. Let the Lord give his benediction to the world.
For Venkataraman, Arunachaleswara was the sole refuge.
Never would he leave His lap. "He obtained That, having
obtained which, there was nothing else to desire."

      Farewell to the turmoil of this world, welcome to
absolute peace. Henceforth whatever he did (physically,
mentally or by any other means) was to be offered to the
Father.

      To whom did he offer himself? To his Father, Easwara.

      Who was Easwara? Was it the stone linga in front of him?
Or Arunachala, the hill beyond? Neither.

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      He was different from the body. He was the spirit.

      The body was its sheath. The hill and the linga were the
sheaths enveloping his Father. Else, how could the
Immeasurable and Omnipresent One be limited to these
tiny things? They were mere symbols of the limitless
Substratum of this Universe, the source of all the power
and acts in the Universe, the all pervasive Truth.

      Venkataraman was established in It. What was the
nature of his Father? What was the relation between his
own ego and this universal, all-supporting, all-destroying,
authoritative secret nature? How was he to ascertain this?

Everyone should find out the Truth for himself. This
is what Varuna enjoined on Bhrigu too. He said "Learn
by tapas ^[?]."