Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

Soon after they left, some devotee asked him about the
significance of Upanayanam and Bhagavan related it to us as
follows:
“Upanayanam does not mean just putting round the neck
three strands of cotton thread. It means that there are not
only two eyes but a third also. That is the jnana netram (wisdom-
eye). Open that eye and recognise your swa-swarupa (own
form); that is what is taught. Upanayanam means additional
eye. They say that the eye must be opened and for that purpose
they give training in pranayamam (breath control). After that
they give Brahmopadesam (Initiating about Brahman), give the
boy a begging bowl and tell him to go about begging. The
first bhiksha is mathru (mother’s). When the father gives
Brahmopadesam, the mother gives three handfuls of bhiksha
(rice) to enable the young boy to do manana (repeat inwardly),
the upadesa given by the father. He is expected to fill his
stomach by begging, stay in the Guru’s house for training and
realise his self by opening the jnana netram. That is the
significance of Upanayanam. Forgetting all that, what is done at
present is this: pranayamam has come to mean just closing the
nose with the fingers and pretending to control the breath;
Brahmopadesam means just to cover both the father and the son
with a new dhoti when the father whispers something in the
ear of the son; bhiksha means just filling up the begging bowl
with money. What could they preach to the boy when the
father who gives the upadesa and the priest who gets this done,
do not know the real significance of Upanayanam? Not only
that. After receiving the required knowledge by staying with
the Guru for a sufficiently long time, the Guru used to send
the boy to his parents to find out whether his mind would get
caught in worldly affairs or turn towards sannyasa. After staying
for some time in their own homes, the boys used to start on a
pilgrimage to Banaras, devoid of worldly desires and with a
view to renouncing them completely. At that time, parents
having girls of marriageable age dissuade the boys from going
to Banaras and offer them their daughters in marriage. Those
that are strongly inclined towards renunciation would go
without caring for the offers of marriage and those that are
otherwise, return home and accept the offer of marriage. All
that is forgotten now. Pilgrimage to Banaras at present means
the young man puts on a silver-lined silk dhoti, his eyes are
coloured black, his forehead bears a caste mark, his feet are
ornamented with yellow and red paste, his body is smeared
with sandal-paste, his neck is adorned with flower garlands,
an umbrella is spread over his head and wooden sandals are
worn on his feet and he walks on stylishly to the accompaniment
of music. When the girl’s brother comes and offers his sister in
marriage and presses him to accept the offer, he says, “I want
a wrist watch. I want a motor cycle, I want this and I want
that. If you give them, I can marry, otherwise not.” Afraid
that the marriage which is arranged may fall through, the
parents of the bride give whatever is demanded. Then they
have photos, feasts and presentation of cloths and the like.

Nowadays, bhikshas are used for filling up the begging bowl
with rupees and pilgrimages to Banaras are used for extracting
dowries.”