Letters from Sri Ramanasramam, by Suri Nagamma

Before the dawn of youth appeared on his face he
had relinquished all worldly desires, and with Divine
desire he hastened to the holy Arunachala where he reigns
in the Kingdom of Eternal Bliss. How can one speak of
the enormous fortune of that mother, in having had the
privilege of being called ‘Amma’ (mother) by such a son?
In the Vedas, the mother holds the first claim for worship:
“Mathru devo bhava” (Let mother be your God). Even so,
the beauty of it is that Bhagavan felt it unnatural for him
to address her in the respectful form. If he addressed her
so, would she not feel hurt? She felt satisfied only if he
addressed her as “Mother.” Perhaps Bhagavan felt that
he ought not to wound her feelings in so small a matter.

“When my Mother passed away I thought I had escaped
bondage and could freely move from place to place and live
in solitude in some cave or other, but in fact I have now an
even greater bondage; I cannot even move out.” Bhagavan
often speaks in this way. Mother he had only one, but
children he has in thousands, so is not this greater bondage?
I tell you, the other day, hearing that Skandasramam was
being repaired, he went there at noon, along with his
attendant Rangaswami, just to see, without telling anybody,
intending to return quietly. But what happened? We all went
there, wild with excitement and surrounded him, and would
not allow him to move. It was only with great difficulty that
he managed to return with the whole crowd by about 8 p.m.

A fortnight later, the labourers reported to Bhagavan
that they had finished constructing the path to
Skandasramam and begged him to have a look at it.

Bhagavan said, “We shall see.” That morning we all
expressed our keen desire to go there. Bhagavan cajoled
us, saying, “We will all go there for a picnic some time
later.” Then in the evening at about 5 o’clock he went out
as usual for his walk on the hill and from there slipped
away quietly to Skandasramam. As soon as this became
known, men and women alike began going up the hill
with torches and lanterns regardless of the approaching
darkness. It was one thing for people who do not know
Bhagavan’s ways to follow him up the hill, but I thought
that I, who knew how things were, ought not to go. Twice
I started to go up and returned after reaching the first
turning, but finally I could not resist the temptation to
follow the crowd. Just as the monkey cannot change its
nature, however we cajole it, so my mind’s natural
tendencies reasserted themselves, however much I tried
to control them. What is the use of being sorry about it
afterwards?
Actually, when all his children came up like that in the
darkness, how grieved Bhagavan must have felt that there
was no place for them to sit and nothing for them to eat.

That is why in his overflowing kindness he later arranged a
regular feast for them all there. How could he manage this
enormous family but for his wonderful controlling ability?
How could he manage to be so detached even in the midst
of this big family were he not full of profound peace?
Remember, there is nothing beyond the power of the great
Master.