THE BHAGAVAN I KNOW

By Voruganti Krishnayya

A strong, desire to meet Sri Ramana Maharshi was born in
my heart after my unforgettable meeting with Nayana --
Kavyakantha Ganapati Sastri. During my first visit to
Ramanasramam I spent three days with Bhagavan. He was a
great Mahatma but his ways were very simple. Most of the
cooking was done by him in those days. The Ashram lived
from hand to mouth and usually only rice and vegetable soup
were prepared. When I was about to leave I asked the
Maharshi, "Bhagavan kindly show me a good path".

"What are you doing now"? he asked.

"When I am in the right mood, I sing the songs of Tyagaraja
and I recite the holy Gayatri. I was also doing some
pranayama ^[?] but these breathing exercises have upset my
health".

"You had better stop them. But never give up the advaita drishti
(non-dual vision)".

At that time I could not understand his words.

I went to different places and I found that people placed
conditions for my spiritual progress. Only Bhagavan asked
for nothing, found fault with nothing. In truth there was
nothing in me that entitled me to his grace. But it did not
matter with Bhagavan. He wanted me, not my goodness. It
was enough to tell him, `I am yours', for him to do the rest. In
that way he was unsurpassed. Those who gave themselves to
him and trusted him and did his bidding were overwhelmed
by his immense solicitude and kindness.

In 1930 I visited Ramanasramam for the second time and
stayed a month. Our life was very simple at that time. Bhagavan
would talk quite freely with us every night after food. The
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devotees would ply him with questions on philosophy and
metaphysics. In the evening he would sit on a wooden cot near
the well and gaze at Arunachala in deep silence. His face would
glow with an inner radiance which would appear to increase
with the deepening darkness. We sat all around him, either
silently or singing songs. The silence and peace at those hours
were quite remarkable. At night after dinner all the inmates of
the Ashram would collect around Bhagavan and then he was
our own, telling stories, answering questions, dispelling doubts,
laughing and joking. We never knew how late it was until
Madhavaswami would go behind Bhagavan and give us signs
that it was time to allow Bhagavan some rest.

Once I asked him, "You told me to repeat the Gayatri. It is
too long. Also I am expected to know its meaning and to
meditate on it". Bhagavan said, "Who asked you to bother
about the meaning and all that? I have only asked you to see
who is repeating the Gayatri, or who is the japi". Bhagavan
did not limit his teaching to the one question `Who am I??'.
He invariably adjusted his advice to the needs of the devotee.
He would say, "Sooner or later the question `Who am I?' will
have to be faced. All that leads to this question is good. By
itself nothing else is fully effective, for Self-knowledge comes
only through Self-enquiry, but other methods purify the mind
and help it to see its own limits. When the mind comes to the
end of its resources and stands baffled before the unanswerable
question, then a higher power takes charge of the mind and
the Self stands revealed".

Once a visitor started weeping suddenly and cried out that
he was a horrible sinner who could not reform himself. He
asked Bhagavan if there was any hope for him and declared
that Bhagavan was his Guru and as his Master he must save
him. On his insistence Bhagavan told him that fees were due
to the Master. The man said he would give him all his merit
and whatever good he had done. Bhagavan told him that was
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not enough and demanded his sins too. The man was aghast
and refused to offer his sins. But Bhagavan was adamant. He
said, "Either give me your sins along with your merits, or
keep both and don't think of me as your Master". Finally the
visitor surrendered and declared that he was giving away all
his sins and their results to Ramana. Bhagavan said, "From
now on there is no good or bad in you. You are just pure, Go
and do nothing, neither good nor bad. Remain yourself, remain
what you are". A great peace fell over the man and over us
all. He was never seen in the Ashram again.

This was not an isolated incident. To everyone who
deplored his sins Bhagavan said, "What do you know about
yourself? What do you know about good and evil except what
is in your mind? When you see that the mind invents
everything, all will vanish. The good will vanish, the evil will
vanish and you will remain as you are". Thus Bhagavan was
most tender with people who thought themselves for some
reason or other to be miserable sinners, and went to him torn
by repentance.

Bhagavan's grace and compassion for his devotees was
evident in impossible situations. For instance Dr Syed a great
Muslim scholar and his wife were devotees of Bhagavan. Mrs
Syed continued to follow her faith in the ways and conventions
of the Muslim religion. She would hide herself in one of the
rooms and implore her husband to ask Bhagavan to come and
see her. It was an unusual request but such was Bhagavan's
grace and compassion that even this was granted. One day
Mrs Syed felt a deep desire to invite Bhagavan to their house
for food. Syed was not brave enough to utter his wife's prayer
to Bhagavan. It was unthinkable. But his wife did not leave
him in peace. Unable to resist her pressure Dr Syed hinted
her wish to Bhagavan who smiled and kept quiet. She was
certain that Bhagavan would grant her wish if the matter were
put before him in the proper spirit and form. At last, while
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Bhagavan was going up the hill, Syed and his wife stood before
him and told him her desire. Bhagavan just laughed and went
up the hill.

Disappointed, both Doctor and Mrs Syed started a row in
their house, each accusing the other that the request was not
made in the proper manner. Finally Dr Syed told her, "The
truth of the matter is that your devotion is deficient. That is
the reason why Bhagavan refused". She was deeply affected
by those words and she sat in meditation throughout the
night. She wanted to bring Bhagavan to dinner by sheer
intensity of prayer. During the early hours of the morning
she must have dozed. Bhagavan appeared to her in a dream
or vision and told her, "Why are you so obstinate? How can
I leave the Ashram and come to your house for food? I must
dine along with others, or they won't eat. Besides, as you
know, people are coming from distant places, facing a lot of
trouble to see me and to have food with me. How can I leave
all these guests and come to your place? Feed three devotees
of mine and it will be the same as feeding me. I shall be
fully satisfied." In her vision she saw the three devotees
whom she had to invite. One was Dr Melkote, the second
Swami Prabudhananda and the third was myself. She told
Dr Syed about her vision and he invited all three of us for
dinner to his house. We had to accept the invitation when
we heard the whole story. At the same time we were assailed
by doubts and anxiety as it was a serious breach of
convention for us Brahmins to dine in a Muslim house. Dr
Melkote spoke brave words to me and said he took it as
Bhagavan's direct order. Despite these brave words Dr
Melkote was perplexed. We were worried about the
cleanliness of the kitchen and the utensils, about the
authenticity of the dream, about the reaction of the Ashram
Brahmins and so on and so forth. The next day when the
bell for dinner rang we three went before Bhagavan and
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bowed. Bhagavan did not ask us the reason, but merely
looked at us. Instead of going to the dining hall with others
we marched out of the Ashram, passing in front of
Chinnaswami who, O wonder! did not ask us why we were
going out without taking food.

Mrs Syed had taken great trouble over the dinner. She
would not allow the servant girl to enter the kitchen. The food
was excellent, prepared with great love and devotion. After
the meal she offered us betel with her own hands. This was
something unusual, for a Muslim lady offers betel only to her
husband or a fakir. As Dr Melkote said, "In her eyes we were
fakirs, the forms Bhagavan took to go to her place". When
we returned to the Ashram, we were astonished that nobody
enquired why we had not been present in the dining hall, where
we had gone or what we did in a Muslim house. How
wonderfully does Bhagavan protect those who obey him!

When the construction of the big temple over Bhagavan's
mother's Samadhi was about to be started, Bhagavan was
asked to give his permission and blessings for collection of
funds. He replied, "I am a hermit. I do not want money to be
collected in my name for the purpose of building temples. I
am not in need of temples, nor do I wish to see them built. If
you want a temple, do not go and beg for money. If funds
come unasked entirely on their own then go ahead". Bhagavan
never asked for anything and did not like his name being used
for collecting money, however praiseworthy the purpose.

Thus there was never an incident or occasion when we
were not reminded of the supreme truth that only the Self
remains. Whether it was a matter of cooking or of kindness to
dumb animals and birds or a case of philosophic discussion,
Bhagavan always impressed upon us the unity of all Being.

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