YEARS OF GRACE

By R. Narayana Iyer

I first saw Bhagavan in 1913 at the Virupaksha Cave. But it
was in 1936 that I really met him. When I reached the Ashram
and entered the hall, Bhagavan pointed at me and said, "He
has come from Madras". I thought myself very fortunate in
having been blessed by his attention immediately on my
arrival. That evening while sitting in the hall, Bhagavan looked
at me intently for about five minutes. It was an extraordinary
experience. The experience, the feeling, remained long after
I returned home.

I took voluntary retirement from service in order to pursue
the spiritual path and shifted my family to Tiruvannamalai
so as to be near Bhagavan. One day while trying to meditate
in the presence of Bhagavan I just could not fix my thoughts
and became restless. In the meantime a boy who used to
come daily and give a performance of numberless
prostrations gave us a super show that day. Bhagavan
rebuked him, "What is the use of your prostrations? Control
of the mind is real worship". Somehow these words had a
tremendous effect on me.

There are many instances of Bhagavan's compassion that have
graced my life. My wife died of small pox. On that day it rained
in torrents. I was afraid that the cremation would be delayed.
Bhagavan sent some Ashram workers to help me. When
Bhagavan was told that the rain was too heavy for the funeral, he
said, "Go on with it, never mind the rain". When the body was
taken to the cremation ground, the rain stopped, and when the
body was burnt to white ashes, it started raining again!

A few days later my daughter was singing in the hall.

Suddenly she stopped and then, after a pause she continued.

Page 146
Bhagavan asked, "Why did you stop in the middle? Was it
the grief for your mother? Why do you grieve for her? Is she
not with Lord Arunachala"?

In 1942 I had to arrange for the marriage of my daughter. I
had a suitable boy in mind, but he raised some objections.
Anxiously I showed his letter to Bhagavan, who said, "Don't
worry, it will come off". Soon afterwards the boy himself came
and the marriage was celebrated.

After Bhagavan left the body I spent two years in my village
and then came to the Ashram again. There were difficulties in
my spiritual practices, but I felt Bhagavan's guidance very
clearly.

I had muscular rheumatism at that time and wrote to my
son, who was coming from Madras to bring some medicine.
He however forgot. The next day Sundaram's brother, coming
from his village brought the very medicine I wanted. I asked
him how he had thought of bringing them. He told me that he
saw them in his house unused and that it occurred to him that
it might be of some use to me. It dawned on me that it was
Bhagavan's love for us that filled our lives with miracles.

On another occasion a nerve in my leg got inflamed. I was
all alone and puzzled, when unexpectedly, Sundaram came
from his village. When I asked him why he came, he said, "I
just felt like coming". From the very next day I had high fever
and Sundaram nursed me for a fortnight. Who could have
arranged all this but Bhagavan?

During the years after Bhagavan left his body I felt His
continued guidance very clearly. How carefully he watches
over every legitimate need of his devotees!

Page 147